Kaze ni Mau Hana
by Grand Phoenix
Summary: Fate wakes up in a field of blue skies and yellow sunflowers. As she searches for a way back to her team, she comes across a face that brings back old memories and a painful longing. /StrikerS era; based on Mother 3, Chapter 6/


**Disclaimer:** All characters and locations belong to their respective owners.

_A/N: So after much busting and grinding and hammering and what-have-you, it's finished. I've had this idea for almost a year now, but it never really got further than just being that until recently._

_"Kaze ni Mau Hana" is basically my adaption to Chapter 6 in the GBA game, Mother 3. I loved that scene, so I thought I'd write something based on that. The story's much more angsty than what's presented in M3, but I don't think that matters in the long run - provided that Chapter 6 shows the player what is happening without the use of dialogue (excluding the flashback). Again, it's no big deal._

_There are cameos, too, from characters of different franchises. To those who don't recognize them: Chipp Zanuff's from Guilty Gear X, and the unnamed man in the tabard and armor is The Master - or, in the Japanese version, God - from Act Raiser, an old SNES game. I had the latter's appearance planned since "Kaze ni Mau Hana"'s culmination, but Zanuff was thrown in at the last minute mainly because of renewed interest in this fanfic (and because I was touching on a couple ole plot bunnies that never quite got off the ground - those bunnies and their flying machines, just what were they thinking?)._

* * *

**Kaze ni Mau Hana  
**("Flowers Fluttering in the Wind")

* * *

_Chirp-chirp, chirp-chirp, chirp-chirp…._

A shadow flew over the face of the stirring woman. A faint moan escaped and a pair of eyes as deep and red as aged wine slowly fluttered opened.

_Chirp-chirp, chirp-chirp, chirp-chirp…._

A wide, impossibly blue sky greeted her, interspersed with fluffy white clouds. The shadow wheeled around, and as the woman blinked to clear her vision she realized that the shadow was a beautiful purple martin.

_Chirp-chirp, chirp-chirp, chirp-chirp_, went the little bird, and it left her field of vision, chirping merrily on its way.

A slight, cool breeze kissed her skin and picked at the loose folds of her Barrier Jacket. As if on an unspoken cue, the heads of bright yellow sunflowers swayed their slender green frames to a tune only they could hear. The world turned on its axis one notch at a time, and in the center of it all the woman lay, motionless and without thought.

Time passed, and the sun rode towards its zenith. Silence was eminent, weightless and peaceful as a tide stroking the soft wet sand of an uninhabited beach. Birdsong graced the land on a gentle wind, high and gay and full of life, and as soon as it had come it was gone, fading into incalculable distance like stars in growing daylight.

The woman took in a breath of fresh clean air, and, as if the action served to revitalize her, slowly exhaled. Her limbs twitched.

_'Where…am I?'_

Like a machine that has gone without oil for ages, Fate T. Harlaown stiffly gathered to her feet. She wiped the sleep from heavy-lidded eyes and dusted off her cape and uniform, checking her person as she did so.

"Bardiche? Where's Bardiche?" She looked to where she had just laid and pushed aside the tall sunflowers, but the scythe-based Device was nowhere to be found. "Bardiche!" The worry in her voice echoed nowhere and everywhere at once in the stillness. No matter how hard she strained to listen, she did not hear a response that was atypical of her partner.

Her gaze wandered, drinking in every color, detail, and sound. Sunflowers covered every inch of earth as far as she could see, and looking over her shoulder she saw the plant-life dominated the horizon. In accordance were even more birds, tiny black shapes whose songs could faintly be heard. There were no buildings or any other signs of life.

Fate was alone, and around her the world moved on.

"How did I get here?" she asked aloud. The last she recalled before waking was soaring through the frigid air of Mid-Childa's northernmost mountains, backed by Lightning and Stars Squad as she led them to a Lost Logia unearthed by an anti-TSAB cell. But…what came after? Were Nanoha and the others okay? Did they catch up to the rogues? Were they engaged in combat right now?

It hurt to think; no matter how hard she tried to remember the pain would aggravate like a jackhammer to concrete. She shouldn't be here, wherever 'here' is. She needed to find Bardiche, pinpoint the quickest route to the mountains, and assist Nanoha on fulfilling the mission. But where would she start?

"I have to get back," she told herself. "They might need my help. I just hope it's not too late." If it weren't for the sunflowers Fate would have taken off then and there, would have jumped and use her powers as a mage to propel her up into the skies and fly. As close together as they were, she had no choice but wade through the sea of green and yellow flowers.

So she started walking.

Time seemed to not exist in this field. There was the occasional bird and twittered song, scant breezes that played at Fate's long blonde locks which reminded her of warm summer nights with the bedroom windows open and the fans blowing cool air on her and Nanoha's sweat-soaked bodies, but it was so utterly quiet. She could not mentally feel out the magical signatures of her compatriots or the life-force that composed humanity and all other life-forms as a whole, but rather could only sense her own energy sifting in her veins like a second skin.

Oh, if only she could remember! It would make her predicament so much easier! And yet, deep in her heart, she fervently wished for her Squad and fellow mages to be all right. She couldn't imagine the repercussions if they sustained injury or, Gods forbid, were incapacitated.

_'Please hold on, everyone. Hold on a little while longer. I'm coming!'_

They were strong kids. Good kids. Nanoha would keep an eye on them. She had faith in her and them – Subaru, Teana, Caro and Elio.

Heat shimmered like the sun-dappled reflections of a winding river. Under her feet the carpet of trimmed grass crunched mutely. Walls of sunflowers were brushed aside as one would when opening curtains to bring in the new day. Fate hadn't the faintest clue as to where she was going or even if she was traveling in the right direction. It aggravated her that she did not have Bardiche to assist in this time of need. Where was help when she needed it? Why was she here and not with her team? How far was she? Who, or what, put her here? Why…Why didn't she have these answers?

She came to a halt to stand in the middle of a wide area where the sunflowers were less crowded and reached to her shoulders, and glanced about helplessly. If she could have just one answer – _just one_, regardless of how subtle or explicit it was – then she could rest at ease knowing she was not without hope.

_'Gods help me, what should I do? What _can_ I do?'_ She craned her neck back and searched the sky's endless depths. The world which stirred all around her ceased to be, for in that moment there was only a weary, soughing sigh and blue, blue, blue.

Her mind separated and drifted apart like a single, ancient landmass. Her thoughts jumbled and swirled into the belly of a slow, lackadaisical whirlpool.

_Where were you when I needed you?_

_Where were you when the darkness overwhelmed the light?_

_Why aren't you here with me?_

_Where are you?_

She could barely recall the scenery, much less what followed after. The room was a pristine white with an off-color trim, and the floor was of polished wood. An open window allowed the cool morning breeze in like a stranger being offered shelter and tossed white curtains and the corners of silk white bedsheets into the air. There was a little corner table beneath it, and on the table was a red ceramic vase which held two yellow daffodils intertwined at the stem. Their heads bowed in the draft, dewdrops glistening on each petal.

It was so quiet, but…it was so utterly peaceful. Undisturbed, as if nothing else in the world existed but this moment. She breathed, and she tasted rain and potpourri, colors seamless and without definition. She could stay here forever.

Except…something was missing. Something whole. Something…meaningful. She wondered, and, without warning, her chest began to ache with an awful, heavy, crushing weight.

_I miss you so much…._

"—Fate—"

She blinked, and suddenly she was back in the sunflower fields. She looked all around her. That voice could only belong to one person, and she…she had only ever seen her in a dream, a spell the Book of Darkness cast on her so many years ago.

Was this all a dream? A memory from a childhood not her own? Or…was this heaven? There were many interpretations of the afterlife, both in Earthen and Mid-Childan culture. Could she have…_died_…trying to protect her squad, to reclaim the Lost Logia?

A lump formed in her throat. She was certainly not transparent. She wasn't, couldn't be, dead, for the dead do not retain the corporeality living beings have. Plus, the dead do not keep their scars; their spirits would be absolved of physical and mental maladies, even sin, upon crossing over after the time of death.

Panic fluttered in her heart. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. Heaven isn't supposed to be empty, so quiet. This…this must be hell, then. Yes, it had to be. Hell is in a flower, and Fate Harlaown found it in the crowns of those Gods-forsaken sunflowers.

She reached out and grabbed two handfuls of the stalks, arms burning with the urge to —

"Woof! Woof!"

Fate stopped, releasing her death grip on the sunflowers. Could she have heard wrong?

"Woof! Woof! Woof!"

No. That was impossible. She wasn't even on active duty anymore, but to hear that familiar, high-pitched barking…there was no mistaking it.

Fate took off at a blind run, pushing aside rows of green. She bent them, twisted them, forcing her way through as if the fields were an obstacle. The barking continued unhurriedly but questioningly, as if it were calling out for something or someone. Fate held onto that voice like a lifeline and plowed onward, adrenaline and endorphins pumping pistons in her veins.

The sunflowers grew thick in number, but their height fell away to newly sprouted clusters and viridian shoots poking from the earth. She stumbled through the thicket and caught herself, taking a moment to regain her breath. When she straightened up, she saw and recognized the ball of bright red and orange fur. "Arf!" The dog stopped and faced her master. "What are you doing here? " Arf responded with a whine. "Arf, please tell me…do you know where we are? Did Hayate send you? Tell me she sent help."

Arf's ears folded against her head. She made a low, guttural growl, then turned back in the direction she was staring at and barked again.

Fate was confused. Why wasn't Arf talking to her? She needed answers. She needed to know what was going on so she could try and get the both of them back to civilization. Arf's constant baying was not going to provide her with such a solution. Irritated at the lack of a response, Fate reigned in her simmering temper and slowly approached the puppy. Perhaps there was something she could not see.

"What is it, Arf?" she asked her Familiar, stroking the animal's fur as she directed her gaze to the fields. "What's got you so…worked…up…?"

Her breath caught in her throat, and her eyes widened. There, standing a few mere yards from where the mage was a young woman, an image she had always seen when in the presence of a mirror. A tall, slender frame; long flaxen hair; light tan skin; and, as she stopped and glanced behind her shoulder, the clearest, reddest pair of irises set in a young, round face. A face she shared with—

"…Alicia?" It was the first time Fate had ever seen Alicia as an adult and it surprised her – nearly made her heart give pause – that her predecessor looked so much like her. Or was it the other way around? After all, she was Alicia's clone, and Alicia for one never lived the life she had. Even under the Book of Darkness's spell, Alicia appeared as a child when Fate herself was physically older and chronologically younger in circumstances. So what, then, was this? A result of a noxious gas concocted by the smugglers? The afterlife? Purgatory? A dream within a dream? What was it?

But those thoughts never caused her pain. Instead, Fate and Alicia locked gazes, and another gentler breeze wandered into the field, carrying the scent of clean linen and fresh rain.

A long time passed, but the sun remained where it was, high in the sky. A soothing, lazy lull lay between the two girls.

Fate blinked – once. Twice. Three times. Alicia did not vanish. Her heart leapt with joy and yet floated and submerged like bait on a watery surface. Her breathing slowed, inhaling, exhaling. Her eyes began to sting and her throat clenched and unclenched.

"Alicia," she repeated, forcing the syllables to come forth. Cautiously, she took one step forward, her foot flushed against the grass. She hesitated, appraised Alicia's reaction; the blonde continued to watch, her demeanor unchanged. Encouraged by this, Fate put her other foot in front, then again. And again. And again. And again, repeating the motion with renewed purpose. Still, she did not proceed no faster than a dog studying game, and still Alicia stayed.

Soon, Fate was but five feet away. The Enforcer's arm trembled as she reached out to touch her elder's cheek. "Alicia," the younger whispered, swallowing thickly. What else was there to say, to describe the cauldron of emotions simmering in the well of her heart? All the answers were here, in this moment of time and space. With but a touch of that unsullied face, there would be an eternity to purge her grief and move on, complete and at peace with herself.

Her fingers were a hairsbreadth from contact. Alicia gasped, an intake of breath, and her eyes widened, awake and amazed.

"Woof! Woof! Woof!"

The illusion shattered. Fate stared before her, dumbstruck, her arm uplifted to a space unoccupied.

"…What…?"

"Woof! Woof! Woof!" Arf, whom Fate had completely forgotten, took off ahead of her and disappeared into a mass of towering sunflowers.

"Ah! Wait, Arf!" Fate charged after the little red puppy. She tore the stalks and shoots from their roots, clearing a path among the suddenly crowded jungle. "Alicia! ALICIA! WAIT!"

She ran, ran like she had never ran before. The wind howled in her ears, suddenly without taste and canine barking. She pushed onward, catching minute glimpses of the white-clad woman traversing the towering helianthus as if she knew the way out of an intricate labyrinth. However, the faster Fate moved the farther Alicia put distance between them, repelling as two magnets with different forces, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to see her. It was almost as if she was flitting in and out of existence like a ghost. Still, Fate ran, putting on an extra burst of speed, calling, "Please, Alicia! Wait for me! Alicia!"

She had to keep up. She had to stop her, catch her in her arms and squeeze her tight and not let go. She couldn't lose her. Not now. Not when she had been so close.

Finally, and without warning, Fate emerged onto a grassy clearing that dropped into sheer perpetuity. She could have gone further had she not noticed it, but it was common sense which saved her from tumbling to an unthinkable doom. Not only that, but there was a cloud of immense – almost biblical – proportions that extended far into and beyond the horizon. Fate was surprised Arf was absent; could she have gotten lost trying to find Alicia?

Whatever train of thought she had derailed when she caught of the aforementioned girl. She was already _upon_ the cloud as if it were a solid thing, and she walking to where a tall man garbed in a purple tabard and gold armor waited.

Fate's blood went cold. She was too late. That man was going to take her sister away, and she never going to see her again. Why? Why did it have to be t his way? In a dream, in Heaven…why couldn't she have a minute of Alicia's time, more or less have an hour, or even a day? What did Fate do to be subjected to this agony?

She could contain herself no longer. Just as Alicia was within the man's reach, she cried, "Why? Why can't I be with you, Alicia? Why does it have to be this way?"

Her twin paused. Slowly she turned about-face, and Fate was met with so deep a sadness, so deep in pain, she could be lost in those crimson depths and drown.

Fate stared back, equally discomfited.

Alicia blinked, and the tears began to fall freely. "Fate…."

"Come, my child," said the man's svelte, baritone voice. "It is time to go. We must not tarry."

"Wait!" Fate shouted. "Please, let me talk to Alicia! That's all I want!"

The man bowed his head. "Forgive me, but I cannot allow it."

"Why?"

"Because you are needed elsewhere."

"I don't care! Just let me speak to her!"

"You are waking. There is nothing more I can do. But do not fear, little one; I will take care of Alicia. She is in good hands."

"I won't leave her! Alicia is the only family I have left! I want to be with her! I…I don't want to be alone anymore!"

"Alone? My child, you have never been alone, not in the ten years since your creation. Though they are not of your blood, they are the people who care and love you regardless of who you are. Man, woman, child, or creature - it does not matter; what matters is that they are family, just as you are family to them. Family…is the most precious treasure of all."

"Then I want my treasure back!" Fate exclaimed, and kicking grass into the air she dashed up to the grassy edge and jumped. "ALICIA!"

"FATE!" Alicia bolted forward and fell to her knees at the cloud's brim. "Fate, don't go!" She reached out and grabbed Fate's hand—

Only for it to phase through.

Fate felt a chill wrack her body, and as she looked into Alicia's anguished, tear-stained face, gravity snared her in its phantom jaws and pulled her down. Down, down, down, into endless, abyssal whiteness. Something was roaring – quietly, and then, like an approaching tidal wave, deafeningly loud. Warmth seeped into the crevices of her body.

"Alicia," Fate croaked. Her vision faded, but through the haze she saw her sister's lips move, forming syllables and shaping words. She read the motions, and her soul folded in on itself.

She closed her eyes and smiled through the tears. "I love you, too."

The world ceased to be.

* * *

And slowly, like the coming of sunset, light faded into metaphorical eternity. Cold, dark dampness settled upon her like a second skin. She blinked rapidly, and her vision cleared to reveal gleaming silver veins and jagged stalactites.

A cave, her fogged mind echoed. She was in a cave. How in Mid-Childa did she end up from sunflower fields to a cave of all places?

Fate groaned and gave her person an once-over. She was bereft of her Barrier Jacket. Instead, she noticed her chest and abdomen were swathed in gauze and bandages, leaving her upper body bare and slick with sweat. She looked at the white sheet covering her, felt the smooth linen texture in her fingers and realized it was in fact the cape that formed the magical armor.

She averted her gaze back to her front. Tentatively she applied pressure to the bandages, only to emit a hiss and retract her touch from the burning sensation ripping a gorge in and around her gut. Who, or what, could have inflicted these injuries?

Her musings were interrupted by an echoing voice. "She's awake! Fate's awake!"

_'…Arf?'_

There was a clamor of excitement, intermixed with footsteps and other voices both organic and digitized. At first it was faint, but soon it made its presence known when Nanoha and the members of Star Squad entered the cave, tired but still in good spirits.

Just as she had thought, there was a large red and orange wolf. Arf trotted up to her, bushy tail wagging. "Fate, I'm so glad you're okay! How do you feel?"

"Arf, what are you doing here?" Fate asked, ignoring her Familiar's concerns. "You're not on the active roster. You're supposed to be at home."

"Arf and a few others were called to reinforce the area we secured," said Nanoha as she came to stand next to Arf. "Hayate sent them. Carim dispatched ground support to breach enemy defenses."

"_Carim_ helped us?" Fate said, taken aback. "I don't recall Carim's jurisdiction extending that far…."

Nanoha nodded. "While that is true, there are at least several groups which function independently from the Saint Church regulations. The location of the Lost Logia happens to be in an area controlled by one of those groups, so Carim managed to rally them to our location on the condition they receive a quarter of the mission payment. But…I'm sure you don't want to hear that." Nanoha smiled sheepishly. "What matters most is that you've pulled through."

"Pulled through? What happened?"

"From what I saw," said Teana from the back, "you took a direct hit from some goon's blade. Subaru and I tried to intercept him, but we got caught in a pincer movement and couldn't get to you in time. When we fought them off, you were gone."

"If those terrorists hadn't gotten in the way, we would have gone lookin' for you," added Subaru. "There were so many of them. I was almost sure we'd lost you, Cap'n."

"What of Elio and Caro? Are they alright?"

"They're outside on watch duty," said Nanoha. "They were providing medical relief to the troops, so they didn't get much action on the battlefield."

"Thank goodness. At least they're safe."

"And so are you," Arf rebutted with a nudge of her snout. "That 'goon' Tea mentioned is a criminal on the run. I think his name was Chipp Zanuff; am I right, Nanoha?"

"You are," replied the Captain of Star Squad. "He's a hired sword known among the black market for establishing and funding illegal substances via interdimensional cartels. I recognized him from his profile on the Wanted Persons register. The last I checked, I heard the hunters were on his trail. Either way, Zanuff will get his comeuppance…for his crimes _and_ what he did to you. I would have gone after him myself—"

"Ah, but if you got attacked by that guy, _I _would have to go after him," Subaru chimed in. "And if _he_ got to me, _Tea_, here, would be thirsting for his blood, and if he hurt Tea, then—"

"We would never hear the end of it," Teana quipped, bumping her fist against the back of Subaru's head. "We get the idea. Just drop it, already."

A strangled gasp elicited from Fate.

It was a beautiful, mechanized sunflower, its petals splayed in full bloom and head secreting a cloud of blue-green mist.

_"—Fate, don't go—!"_

"I've never seen anything like this," Subaru commented as she fingered the tiny Lost Logia. "I have no idea what it does, but I think if we show this to Mary or Shamal they might be able to...Cap'n? Cap'n, what's wrong? Wh-Why are you crying?"

"You _moron_," Teana admonished her partner, none too kindly, "Nanoha and I _told_ you we're not we're allowed to take anything out of the evidence crate…."

"Oh, but Tea, I just wanted to show her what it looked like…!"

"It doesn't matter. Nanoha made it _clear_ for us not to remind her…."

"I didn't mean to! I…I didn't know it would…!"

"It's alright, Fate," Nanoha assured the weeping girl, gathering the shaking form in a tender embrace. "Let it all out. No matter where you go, you'll never be alone. We're here for you, and we're not going anywhere."

Although the words were comforting, Fate felt it sting her heart of hearts as a needle punctures skin. She cried harder, burying her face in the crook of her friend's neck and fisting the Barrier Jacket in wrinkled clumps. She was vaguely aware of Arf nuzzling her backside.

(Of course she knew who her family was. She knew where she belonged in this world. Nanoha, Arf, Subaru and Teana and Elio and Caro – they were everything she wished she had from the very beginning. She was content with them, and she was content with that knowledge.

(Except….

(There was still that missing piece, glossed in dust and decay and so impossibly beyond her reach, like the hand clutching for something that was never there.

(If only it were real.

(If only it were whole.

(If only…_you had lived…._)

* * *

"_You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."  
- _Desmond Tutu


End file.
